Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
