i love accidental penises.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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