He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
