my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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