Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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