so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
