you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
