So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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