he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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