I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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