Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
