She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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