When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
