You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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