THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
