btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
