Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
