What did we do last night that was yellow?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
