Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
