I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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