why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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