Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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