You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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