Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
