i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
