i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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