omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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