And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
