i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
