just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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