Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
