I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
