I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
