Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
