he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
