This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
