my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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