For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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