somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
