I just saw a hot homeless man
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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