I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
