I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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