i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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