Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
