How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
