once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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