I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
