we have officially lost it.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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