So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
