i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
