a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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