I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
