I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
