She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
