Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
