I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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