it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
