How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize