what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Every concussion has its silver lining
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
