He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
