I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
