Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
