my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
