i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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