forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
